10.23.2008
Absurd Mental Snapshot
I was two at the time, and someone I have no recollection who, had placed me thoughtfully to side of the living room in the hard wood floor. I lifted my miniature white spoon and scooped up the clumpy, cottage cheese carelessly, putting the spoon in my mouth. I was not adept at eating, so instead of putting the cottage cheese in my mouth, the clumpy white paste ended up on my nose and on my chest. I did not notice the mess because when I looked up, I watched as huge, beer bellied, men walked down the hall, straining to carry our piano out the door. My house was empty; my family and strange men were carrying boxes and furniture. Before this day I did not realize that furniture could even move, and more importantly, I had no clue why we would want to move it. I was certainly confused about the purpose of the bare house. Why was my mother mopping the space where the cough should be? The smell of pinesol disinfectant tickled my nose. I had the nervous feeling like I was in the doctor's office, so I stayed sitting on the floor waiting for a shot.
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6 comments:
This piece captures the innocence of a little girl extremely well, especially with the cottage cheese and the way you end it. It is amazing how you were able to recall so much, in detail, about something that happened so long ago. However, there were some grammatical things about the piece that made it hard to follow.But all in all it was a very cool in depth look into the mind of little London.
I really liked how you took a big moment in your life that everyone could relate to and described it in a way that made it totally unique. Almost everyone has moved before but I doubt that anyone else remembers that experience from eating cottage cheese. It showed a lot about you and how you view life. You take situations that most people would consider sad and look at the good things within them. You used just enough description to show off your intelligence and observational nature as a writer but you didn't over do it and bore me with description. It was really good.
The reason that I read this piece was because of the title. It grabbed me and was like whoah! what's that. I really enjoyed the description and the anticipation to see what you are actually talking about. I thought it was cute how you can remember such a small detail from when you were little. There were a few grammatical errors, which made it a little hard to read efficiently, but other than that, I really enjoyed it :)
I am amazed that you can even remember such a moment... you were only two!! GEEEEZ!! I think that memories are important to writers and it is fantastic that you can remember times like that. This is a strength because you can describe moments that not everyone can remember- it makes your writing unique! Also, there is enough description that I could picture it clearly in my head. Nice!
it amazed me that you could remember such detail from when you were really young.I know I wouldn't be able to remember something like this from when I was that young. The details were really good.
This work is very descriptive. I agree with everyone else on how incredible it is that you remember an event from so long ago. This peice showed who you are. I enhjoyed it. Short and sweet.
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