3.16.2009

"Under the Wings of the Butterfly" Immitation of "How to Listen"

I am going to lie limp on the grass of the park

like a child tired from play;

I am going to watch as a butterfly dips

softly, carefree, beneath the canopy of the mulberry tree--

its powdered wings catching wind 

and carrying itself along the breeze.

I am going to allow the breeze to relieve

me of unwanted thoughts, under the wings of the butterfly.

For once, I will not think about a problem,

or task undone.

For once, I am going to let my mind wander,

just as the butterfly.

6 comments:

Ariella said...

I loved this poem. The imagery that you created was amazing; I felt like I could see a little person limp on the grass imitating the actions of th butterfly. I also loved the way that you imitated the poem, yet it was completely original. This poem is truly a perfect example of your voice (I know I could/would never write a poem like this.) Great job!

Jordan said...

Nice goin! This was totally original yet it followed the original's format. I especially like the line, "I am going to allow the breeze to relieve
me of unwanted thoughts, under the wings of the butterfly." It flow's so well. Great metaphors! :)

Caitlin said...

I really like this one. It's so gentle and carefree (to steal one of your words) and any time that I read it, I just feel relaxed as though I'm just laying on the grass watching a wandering butterfly. :]

sytat said...

I love the imitation and yet, it leaves me with a different feeling all together from Jackson’s “How to listen”. It is a feeling of peace and serenity. It's the same kind of peace I get from watching a pink sunset sink into the mountainside or the soft breeze that whispers quietly into ears under a starlit sky.

Chaviess said...

I really love the childlike quality of the moment.

the woods said...

I love this! I can see the whole thing playing out. The imagery of the dipping butterfly is very effective. This whole poem feels as if it just floats along, not one word is out of place or does not fit with the rest. Peaceful!