3.17.2009

"Three Little Birds": Mimicry of Mary Oliver's "Why I Wake Early"

Hello sun splash
Hello to you
Who wakes me up everyday
You lighten up my room and my house
You wake up everything
Including the mouse
Hello sun
You put the night away
Hello sun
You brighten up my day.

6 comments:

Jordan said...

This is very witty.:)Very clever and concise. I like how it has a rhyming aspect to it. It's like an abridged version of the original- yet it still conveys alot of feeling. Nice!

Anastasia said...

This is such a happy poem!! It remindes me of a children's book and I can even picture what the illustrations would look like if it was! One thing I think you could work on is your punctuation. You should either do no punctuation or punctuate all. Overall, I love it!

Yahya said...

This is poem is full of simple but intense description which manifests itself in the first line. The rhyme schyme is also very simple and leaves the reader happy when they are done. I can hear your voice in the poem. Well done Tyler.

Isabella said...

Something about this puts a smile on my face. It has a very cheery tone to it. There is some duality as it is a light poem but also can be taken very seriously and can be meaningful. :)

Isabella said...

Something about this puts a smile on my face. It has a very cheery tone to it. There is some duality as it is a light poem but also can be taken very seriously and can be meaningful. :)

the woods said...

This is a cute poem. It has a fresh, light feel to it. I like the simple ryhme. This mimicry reminds me of you since it is happy and easy going!